Clueless Paul Gets a Career
Despite the fact that I am keeping lots of career options open, I have no clue as to what I should do with my life. I have vague ideas, of course, and some unsatisfying career possibilities, but I don't know what I want.
This is a bad thing, in case you were wondering. I am old enough now to know that it's high time I should make some choices about the type of employment I would like to pursue for a good chunk of my life, but I am not old enough to actually want anything. Just call me immature and clueless, because that is exactly what I am.
Job Ideals
"So what does Paul want out of a job?" I hear you not asking. Well, a partial list of my job ideals might help clarify that issue:
- I would like my job to be challenging, so my brain does not rot.
- One of my biggest goals is to accomplish something in my life. My job should be important enough so that I can do something significantly good for the world.
- I don't function very well when faced with mundane, repetitive tasks, so I suppose I want some variety.
- I find routines comfortable, so some degree of predictablilty would be nice.
- I want to come home each day feeling that I have done some real work, as opposed to sitting around doing nothing.
- Although I often find myself in positions of leadership, I am an utterly useless leader, so anything requiring people-managing skills is definitely out.
- I need a working environment where people are friendly enough so that I don't feel like I shouldn't be at work. Also, I cannot abide office politics.
- As far as pay is concerned, it would be nice to earn enough to eat. However, I don't want to earn so much that I become a money addict, although I could easily just give my excess salary to charity.
- Surprisingly, I like working with my hands, so that might be a consideration.
- I usually find that I am most productive when working in a very small group -- like a group of two people. I often find myself unmotivated when working alone, and very large groups have a tendency to get out of control. Two people is just about right, since the workers have an opportunity to bounce ideas off each other.
- I want to enjoy what I am doing. My criterion for deciding this is simple: If I would willingly do the job for free, it has a chance to be enjoyable enough.
- I do not want to be controlled by the economic markets.
- I do not want to compromise my twisted morals for the sake of a job. (Gee. I wonder if that criterion leaves me any possibilities?)
- Sometimes I delude myself into believing that I am a creative person. It would be nice to be able to express that creative side.
- In my career, I want to be learning something every day.
There. Now that I have created an impossible situation for myself, let's at some of the options I am considering:
I have also thought of, but not written about, the following:
- Environmental Activist
- Hermit
- Ecologist
- Professional Researcher
University Professor
The Positives
There is an opportunity to keep one's mind sharp, if only by concentrating on arcane things.
There is a remote chance that a person might stumble upon something important, something that will benefit the world.
Life management skills are not a prerequisite for being a prof.
Sometimes, teaching can be very rewarding, especially when you witness somebody understanding a difficult concept for the first time.
One can hide away in the ivory tower of university when being a professor, never having to face the grim realities of the capitalist
world.
There is more flexibility to one's schedule than with an ordinary 9 to 5 job.
One has the opportunity to perform research.
The Negatives
One needs a lot of discipline to become a professor. You have to produce publishable new research every four years. I have no discipline or self control whatsoever, and I am lazy to boot.
Teaching can be one of the most unrewarding jobs in the world. It is very frustrating when people are just not able to understand what you are saying.
Failing students is not easy to do, especially when those people put effort into what they are doing.
Research can be hard and boring. In addition, one has to focus his or her attention on some stupid aspect of some incredibly obscure field in order to discover anything new and publishable.
Marking. Granted, university profs do not do a lot of undergraduate marking, but marking really sucks all the same.
One has to be intelligent in order to become a prof. What's more, a person has to earn his or her PhD, which is no easy task.
One has to be in school for a loooooong time to become a prof. That would not be so bad, except that it is very expensive.
There is entirely too much happening politically when you are a professor. I would imagine that there is a lot of backstabbing and lobbying going on behind the scenes -- and I cannot abide that.
So much of what a professor does seems to have so little connection with the real world. Does the study of NP complete problems really help make the world any less of a shambles? In some ways, you might argue that the study of arcane, super-specialized knowledge hurts the world around us, because all too often we develop destructive technologies and short-sighted solutions to problems using that knowledge. What if, for example, somebody was to develop the artificial human being? Would that being have rights? Would companies have the right to patent that invention? Each new discovery has the danger of opening a Pandora's box that can never be closed again.
You have to find a field that you love when you become a professor. You can't drift through your job, because then you won't produce enough research to satisfy the authorities.
If you make one big discovery, it is likely you will never match your accomplishments ever again in academic life. Then you will live the rest of your life in disappointment, unless somehow you happen to chance upon something else.
Teaching is hard work. Teaching well is even harder, and if people are going to put the responsibility for their educations in my hands, I have an obligation to do a good job. Considering how sucky an instructor I am, teaching well is bound to be very difficult for me.
All aspects of university deal with a dichotomy: teaching and learning. Professors have to balance their job of teaching other people through lectures with the stresses of their own research. That can be difficult.
Aimless Comments
People always seem to see me as professor material, perhaps because I have zero chance of surviving life in the real world. Also, I wear taped up glasses, dress funny and can't teach very well, which can't help but strengthen the stereotype. It is true that part of me is interested in living the university experience, but if I was to become a prof I would have to feel that I am accomplishing something in this world. That would be difficult, to say the least. Besides, I doubt that I have what it takes to become a professor anyways -- I can't even handle my undergraduate studies.
Network Guy
The Positives
Job stability. As long as there are computer networks, there will be a need for people to maintain them. Programmers might very well become obsolete within my lifetime, thanks to advances in AI technology. (And isn't that ironic, don't you think?)
You get to work with your hands and your computer. Network guys have to deal with both the software and hardware aspects of a computer.
Often, there are a wide variety of tasks that must be done, which can fight off monotony somewhat.
There is some troubleshooting involved, which allows one to practice his or her diagnostic skills.
The Negatives
Maintaining a network can be boring. The tasks one has to do, while varied, are often very tedious. Installing software on 50 workstations is not my idea of a good time.
One has to be accountable to a lot of people. When someone's workstation goes down, you have to get that station back up now. When the network goes down, then Heaven help you; it's Stress City.
You have to put up with a lot of negative sentiments from people who are frustrated when their machines are not working properly, regardless of whether the problem is your fault.
The work can be completely mind-numbing. Troubleshooting can be tricky sometimes, but otherwise the work is not challenging enough to prevent brain-rot.
Often, one has to be on call all the time. Some LAN administrators are forced to wear pagers and cell phones so they can be reached at any time of the day -- or the night!
Sometimes, one can be swamped with too many things to do all at once. At other times, it seems like there is little work to be done -- although in reality that is never the case.
Much of the training one does is very proprietary. Becoming a Certified NetWare Engineer seems very prestigious, but it does one little good if nobody uses NetWare anymore.
Aimless Comments
Perhaps this is a possibility for me, but I doubt it. I have done network administration-type work in the past, and I often find it relaxing. That is one of the big problems; I want to keep myself challenged at work, especially if school is not around to exercise my brain.
Web Page Designer
The Positives
There are some opportunities to exercise one's creativity.
The Web is an exciting, hip place to be right now -- and the
threatpromise of e-commerce is making things happen even more.There is an opportunity to practice both design and programming skills (in working with Java, for example).
The Negatives
One's ability to be creative is severely constrained, especially when designing commercial pages; no company wants its web page to scare customers away.
There is too much advertisement involved in Web page design. I really hate trying to sell people things, because I don't feel comfortable lying to people.
Web page design is tedious and booooooooorrrrrriiiing.
Designing web pages has become the domain of the artist, not the programmer. I have zero sense of design. These pages are living proof. Besides, if anything I am more of a content person than a visual-artist.
Writing content to suit somebody's commercial ventures is extremely difficult for me to do, because I keep trying to put my tongue in my cheek.
Too much of the Web, it seems, is flash and hype. There doesn't seem to be all that much of real importance going on anymore. With e-commerce on the horizon, that is going to get worse, not better.
Aimless Comments
No. No no no no no. This is one career that really does not appeal to me too much. Perhaps I could design web pages for myself if I really tried hard, but designing pages to suit other people's agendas? That's not too likely, unless I happened to really believe in the agenda in question.
Cadaver
The Positives
You really have the opportunity to help other people. At worst, you help potential doctors learn about the human body. At best, you combine this career with that of an organ donor, and somebody else lives because of your body.
You don't have to earn very much to make a living off this career.
The stress level is low; even if people yell at you, it is easy to tune them out.
The work isn't difficult. You just lie there and let others cut you up.
Keeping one's brain sharp is not an issue with this job.
The Negatives
There is little opportunity for advancement. If you are exceptional, like Einstein was, then people might cut up your brain into thin slices to be studied, but that's about the best you can hope for.
You generally don't earn enough to make a living. This can be a problem if you have family to support (which I don't plan on having, incidentally).
Pursuing this career option tends to hinder finding a new job in an unrelated field later on.
Aimless Comments
This career has real potential. I think that I am definitely looking at cadaverdom at some point in my life -- the only question is whether I pursue other career options first.
Homeless Bum
The Positives
Freedom. There is an undeniable freedom to being homeless, because it is possible to lead the simplest of simple lives, nearly free of the constraints of the empty capitalist life.
One has a lot of free time on one's hands. There are many useful things that a person can do while the rest of the world is at work.
One doesn't need to interact with others so much. When you are a homeless bum, you are already an outcast, so you can pretty much be as strange as you want. Mental stability is not a prerequisite when pursuing this career, either, which suits me just fine.
The Negatives
Life on the streets is hard. Society is not your friend when you have no home. The police and street gangs alike feel free to pick on you, robbing you of your possessions and beating you up.
Alcoholism and drug addiction can be real factors.
A person who lives on the streets has next to no rights when compared to a person with a home and a job. Who cares for the plight of the homeless? They usually have no money to sway the hearts of the common person.
Earning enough to eat can be difficult.
If you get sick, you usually stay sick. How can you afford medicine? How can your ravaged immune system fight off disease in addition to handling the wear and tear of daily life?
Panhandling robs a person of his dignity, of his humanity. Yet, in order to survive, one sometimes has to beg. There are far worse ways to make a dollar, I suppose.
One of the most critical factors of a homeless person's life is the weather. Bad weather does not mean a cosy night wrapped up indoors. It can mean life and death. A combination of extreme cold and extreme wetness -- like freezing rain, for example -- can easily mean death when living on the streets.
While theoretically possible, it can be very difficult to get off the streets and pursue other, more stable careers.
Aimless Comments
People laugh when they talk about becoming a homeless bum. But I could easily see myself in such a situation. Many of the people who live on the streets are unable to cope with so-called "normal" life. That describes me to a T, especially when you consider that many of the homeless suffer from mental conditions. It's not too much of a stretch to think that I would fit right in, especially if I gave up hope.
Teacher
The Positives
- As with professors, there can be a great joy in teaching, especially when people understand what you are trying to say.
Depending on the age of your students, you can be a very influential person in the lives of your pupils. I say this because I remember the role my teachers played in my life.
There is lots of opportunity to pursue extra-curricular activities with your students. Some of these projects can be very rewarding.
When you are a teacher, your primary goal is to teach, not to conduct research.
The work schedule can be good, especially if you don't teach during the summer months. This can give you a chance to relax and accomplish other things.
The Negatives
As with professors, teaching can be extremely frustrating.
When you are a teacher, you are an influence in your students' lives. When you are as rotten a person as me, that is not a good thing.
You must always maintain an air of friendly professionalism when being a teacher, because your charges are usually young and impressionable. You will lose respect as soon as you lose your professionalism, and that will hinder your ability to teach.
As a teacher, one's primary goal is to teach, not necessarily learn. When teaching the same material over and over again, one can become bored of it. That doesn't help one sharpen his or her mind.
Marking. Marking marking marking marking. Ugh.
Teachers have to be able to deal with people well. More specifically, they must be able to deal with children well. I don't.
Many of my teachers found it difficult, if not impossible, to cover all of their required teaching material in the ten months (or five months, when we deal with a semestered systems) that we teach a course. That is bad news because then you leave your classes ill-prepared to deal with the challenges of new material.
Teaching tends to work in cycles. Every few years, teachers want to put emphasis on different aspects of learning. During my time at grade school, "holistic" learning was the rage, and people didn't learn how to put together a proper sentence. Sometimes, a "back-to-basics" approach is favoured, and students don't learn how to think creatively.
Failing students in grade school or high school is even more difficult than failing students in university, because the age differences are so much more pronounced. If I fail a grade Three student, it is likely that he or she will have to be a year older than all of his or her peers until the kid reaches high school. That's more of a load to bear than you might think. Unfortunately, a lot of people who would benefit from an extra year are mindlessly pushed ahead into grades they cannot handle for this very reason. Ultimately, nobody wins from such a setup.
I guess this is relatively trivial, but you have to put up with all the comments about what a cushy job teaching is, despite the fact that you are essentially trying to simultaneously teach and babysit people's children for them.
Getting a teaching job in Ontario is tough, at least right now. It would be a lot easier to teach in the States, or overseas.
Aimless Comments
A teacher? Maybe. I don't see this option as being very likely, though. I don't handle other people -- especially young people -- responsibily enough to be entrusted with their care. Why else do you think I will never have children myself?
Maybe teaching high school students would be more of a possibility. But I probably deal with teenagers even worse than small kids, because teens have this innate need to mock people who don't fit into their neat little categories. I remember this well, having been mocked mercilessly throughout my highschool years.
Dartboard
The Positives
People throw sharp objects at you, which would do wonders for my assorted complexes.
I'm probably not good for much else.
You get cool tattoos on your face.
The Negatives
I would probably have to move. Darts are not so much of a pastime here. Living in an English pub might be a possibility, but that presents its own set of problems, given my neuroses about alcohol.
I don't think that the fringe benefits are that good. You probably don't even get health coverage, which is a real drawback when people are throwing sharp objects at you frequently.
You have to stand in one spot for a long time. That can be hard on the muscles.
There isn't much opportunity for one to exercise one's mind.
Dart players are not guaranteed to be skillful. A misplayed dart could easily take out an eye.
I don't think that the pay is that good. That wouldn't be an issue, except that I would have to eat in order to keep my strength up.
I have neuroses about tattoos as well.
In general, I don't deal well with pain. It hurts me, although I certainly deserve to be hurt more than I am.
I wouldn't be able to walk in the woods safely; I would be too fearful of deer hunters looking for target practice.
Aimless Comments
In some ways maybe it is a shame, but there doesn't seem to be too much demand for animate dartboards anymore. I doubt that this is a viable career option for me -- there are just too many negatives to the jobs. I really don't see the point of getting myself in such a situation.
Writer
The Positives
You get to express yourself creatively. If you are really lucky, perhaps you can write the Great Canadian Novel and express yourself permanantly, producing a masterwork that will span generations.
You can work at your own pace. Writing (novels, at least; I am not really dealing with newspapers or other deadline-driven works here) is not a nine-to-five job unless you turn it into one.
Writing provides the ultimate flex time. If you want to sleep in all morning, you can. If you need to cover for a spouse who works at a real job, you can, just so long as the writing gets done sometime.
It doesn't take a lot to write. All you need is an idea and some way of getting that idea down on paper. The overhead costs are not that great.
You don't have to deal with too many people, except for your agent.
You can be as eccentric and/or just plain nuts as you want. In this line of work, wackiness can be considered an asset.
Writers don't necessarily challenge their minds as much as math professors might. But they do challenge their minds, if in a different way. A writer must be able to observe the world around him or her, and translate that world into a book. Either that, or a writer must be incredibly imaginative and come up with worlds nobody has ever observed. Both of these cases are thought-provoking.
Writing can be a soapbox. A writer can highlight the pains and injustices of the world like no news report can, because a writer has the power to make a person live the horrors of a situation half a world away. No newsreel can do that. No movie can do that. A piece of writing is so effective because it spurs on the imagination.
The Negatives
It doesn't take a lot to write; it takes an enormous amount of skill, luck and politiking to get oneself published. You can write the greatest masterwork since Bill Shakespeare roamed England, but if you can't sell it, nobody will read it. And sometimes, getting published seems like a very arbitrary process.
Most likely, I wouldn't get published. Not only is my writing mediocre, but the thoughts behind my writing are mediocre as well. Finally, in order to get publish you have to write something. I haven't the necessary discipline.
You have to like being alone in order to write, because much of your writing will be alone.
You have to have an incredible amount of discipline in order to be a writer, because nobody but your stomach and your motivations are forcing you to write.
Some people find that rewriting their work is the best part of the job. I'm not so sure that I do.
Writing won't pay the bills, unless you are one of the very few people who becomes a successful writer. Usually, people have to work at real jobs in order to support their writing addictions; as we all know, I cannot handle a real job.
Say you get published. Are you in the history books? No. Are people guaranteed to read your work? No. Is your work likely to end up in the delete bin of the bookstore, the Friends of the Library booksale with all of the other unpiopular, published writers? You bet.
It is possible to write "for the money." But I think that writing for the money is both difficult and self-defeating. You can't produce your best work if your heart is not in your writing. But how many writing opportunities allow you to write from the heart? Not many, unless writing is your hobby.
Writers have to put up with editors. Ick.
Writers are like gods; without followers, they are worthless. Writers need readers to help them survive; when your writing is as boring and self-centred as mine, finding readers is difficult.
Aimless Comments
Ah yes. This is everybody's secret career, don't you think? Everybody wants to be a writer, except for the people who want to direct movies. And I suppose everybody has a chance to be a writer, but very few of us have the discipline, drive and skill to make writing as a career work for us.
I took a writing course last year, in which I was to write pages and pages of deathless prose, and prove to the world that I really had what it takes to be a real live writer. By the end of that course, all I managed to do was disappoint everybody. I didn't write enough. I didn't write well enough. I did not have the discipline or drive to make writing a realistic career choice. So I'll continue to secretly dream my secret dreams (Shhh. Don't tell anybody) and I'll continue not writing.
Programmer/Systems Analyst
The Positives
Depending on the project, one has lots of opportunity to solve problems and work things out. That keeps one's mind supple.
Many programming jobs have very flexible hours, which is an advantage for those who must take public transit.
This might be one of the most lucrative fields a person could get into right now.
The Negatives
Programming pays too much. In addition to the evil for money for money's sake, there is a lot of pressure associated with big money. In some ways, you are paying for every cent you make.
As I mentioned, programming is stressful, because the computer industry is on warp drive. Yesterday's state of the art project is today's obsolete product. That's why meeting deadlines is such an advantage.
One has to be motivated by computers in order to succeed at this job. I do not find programming hard, but I often find it tedious, which slows my progress down immensely.
Programmers have the luxury of coming in at noon, but they have the responsibility to work well past midnight if the situation demands it.
The thing that really irks me about software development was mentioned earlier: obsolescence. You can pour your heart and soul into a programming project, but you have to live with the knowledge that what you are producing will be worthless in three years time. Software development is a horrible, unforgiving rat race.
Somewhat surprisingly, there aren't that many software development jobs out there. It doesn't take that many people to produce a software product -- just look at the size of games companies, if you don't believe me.
One constantly has to update his or her skills and knowledge, because to fall behind in this industry often leads to an inglorious career death.
One has to be very responsible as a programmer. One has to be able to concentrate, to work very hard, very effectively. One has to be motivated to work even when his or her heart is not in the job. I can't do that.
The potential for doing good in the community as a result of one's programming work seems very limited. The software development industry is very market driven, and there is little room for compassion or honesty when one is trying to make a sale.
Time management is a valuable skill to have as a programmer. I have none whatsoever. I haven't handed in anything on time in English for the past three years.
Often, you have to work in an enclosed space, shut off from the world. Programmers have to be happy in tiny cubicles -- but I like to walk around. As mentioned earlier, I work best when I am able to bounce ideas off of other people, but how can I do that when chained to a desk?
Aimless Comments
I suppose that this career was the reason I took Computer Science at university in the first place. The only problem is that I really don't seem to enjoy programming all that much. I like the problem solving aspect of programming, but the implementation often bores me. That isn't good. Also, I cannot take the stress, so some part of me doubts that I will be able to hold down any type of programming job, although another part of me thinks (fears?) that I will end up doing this for a living.
Conclusion
The verdict? What else? I'm never going to find a career, because I am a lazy stupid person who doesn't want to work for a living and wouldn't be able to get the work done even if he wanted to. To be sure, there isn't much hope for me, I suppose.