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Giving blood
Giving Blood
I give blood regularly. I could still give blood if I came out of the closet. However, if I was to sleep with a man, I would not be able to give blood anymore. I used to get very angry with this policy, but in reality I have been using it as a crutch. I have been justifying celibacy on the basis that giving blood and saving lives is more important than my getting laid. And although I understand that blood transfusions have their problems, I do believe that they save more lives than they cost.
Recently, I reached a personal milestone. I donated blood 50 times. Because I withdrew my donation twice (because I got sick shortly after donating) I actually have only donated 48 times that mattered. Nonetheless, I have either reached or come close to reaching my milestone. Now I have a decision to make. Do I call this a tour of duty? In other words: do I consider the possibility of having sex with men now?
I used to fume at blood policies that would force me to make such a decision. I argued that the policy of denying all practicing homosexual men the privilege of donating was too broad, that two male virgins who entered a monogamous relationship would not pose a risk. I argued that the other rules on the questionnaire (not sleeping with people whose background you don't know, not being HIV positive or infected with other STIs) made the question of homosexual behaviour redundant. I accused the blood people of policing morality -- nasal cocaine use also counts as a high-risk activity, even though it is not a risk factor for the diseases being screened for. On the other hand, promiscuous straight sex is permissible so long as you know the sexual histories of all your partners.
The blood people maintain that that they screen people based on statistics. It is okay to ban practicing gay men from donating blood because statistically gay men are more likely to have AIDS.
I would like to think that I would be responsible about my sexual behavior, was I to come out of the closet and start sleeping with other gay men. But how many of us would call ourselves high-risk and refrain from donating blood? Not enough of us, I think. All it would take is some stupid queen donating blood to make a political point and some poor blood recipient could get infected with HIV. Or, more likely, stupid gay men would donate blood to get AIDS testing, and intentionally decide to check the "yes, really really use this blood" option so "nobody would suspect". And then they would get a negative result on the AIDS test and their blood would be used and somebody would get infected. Certainly, nothing prevents stupid straight people from doing similar things, but even there the political and social pressures are different.
If the statistical results are correct, then the risk of straight people misusing the blood donor system are lower. Are the statistical results correct? Circumstantial evidence suggests they are. For one thing, anal sex is an excellent way to transmit disease. We all know this, regardless of what the sex activists tell us. I bleed when I wipe my bottom a little too vigorously after going to the bathroom. Don't tell me that anal sex -- especially barebacking -- is not risky, lube or no lube.
And then there are sheer numbers. If you believe that disease rates are well-correlated to number of sex partners, the evidence is clear. On average (and only on average) men who have sex with other men tend to have more sex partners than men who have sex exclusively with women, or women who have sex with men or women. It is socially acceptable in the gay mainstream to have casual encounters, and fairly common to go to bathhouses and cruise in bathrooms and attend sex parties. If you don't believe me, look at the ads at the back of gay publications. Look at the focus for the personals ads and dating sites. Because I am frightened of disease, the number of sex partners I have is likely to be low. But how are the blood people supposed to know that?
So maybe it is okay for the blood people to reject me if I give a man I love a blowjob. But that does not make me feel better. It continues to feel like discrimination and misplaced moral judgement. Pardon the pun, but the entire situation sucks.
At least I am not African.
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