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Marriage as social unit
Independent of its role in childbearing, many of us see marriage as a social commitment. It is a declaration that a group of people agree to function as a cohesive social unit. If one member moves far away, the others will follow. If one gets sick, he or she can expect support from the others. Members of the unit agree to optimize the well-being of the unit, not just their individual well-being.
I think most people accept this sense of marriage. It is the only sense which legitimizes couples who cannot bear children to marry. It addresses our human need for close companionship. It creates a safety net for individuals. Although allowing such unions creates several problems in society, few people want to abolish it entirely.
It is worth noting that marriage as social unit differs from marriage as childrearing institution. Bearing children is more work and it is riskier, because children are total dependents. Unlike a spouse who chooses to stay at home and support the working partner, child-labor laws prohibit small children from fending for themselves if the marriage breaks down or a wage-earner gets sick. Thus I would argue that marriages which involve childrearing should have more privileges and protections than those where children (or other human dependents) are not involved.
It should be apparent that I don't care much about the sexes of the participants in a social unit declaration. I furthermore don't care much about the number of people involved, and in particular I do not believe that sex should be a relevant factor. So long as all parties are making a willing commitment to support each other and function as a unit FOR LIFE, it is irrelevant whether these people are sleeping with each other.
My position is unpopular. Nobody wants to discuss it because it is one of the horrible scenarios the conservative Christians warn us against. It is also tricky to set up in a fair way, especially given the ease of divorce. Nonetheless I believe it is the moral thing to do.
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